A Tale of Perspective

Once upon a time a family sat down to dinner. The Father paid for the Meal, the Mother prepared the Meal, and the Elder Sister, assisted by her Younger Brother, cleaned up the Meal. There was also a Youngest Brother, but he, by virtue of being the youngest and the cutest, was generally allowed to get away with simply eating the Meal.

Now, there were various chores associated with cleaning up after a Meal – for instance, clearing and washing the table, washing the dishes, and vacuuming the floor. It was the custom for the two siblings, out of concern for each other’s welfare, to give to one another the tasks they considered most challenging, and therefore the most character building. They did this by attempting to take care of all of the most mind-numbing chores themselves, and leaving the more intellectually burdening tasks for their sibling. They were also very prompt in advising one another, as to allow such a close relation to continue in error would be beneath contempt.

On one such occasion, when the children were nearly done (having, out of a zeal towards building character, spent several hours performing what would be approximately twenty minutes labour if Mother had succumbed to the temptation to “help”), all that remained was to shake the rugs outside and then replace them along with the chairs which had been removed for vacuuming purposes. Each child was convinced that they must sacrifice themselves by staying inside on that cold, blustery day thus forfeiting their chance to improve their own Moral Fiber in favour of their sibling.

Now, the Sister insisted that it would be quicker to place the chairs on the side of the table nearest the walls first. The Brother thought it would be better to place the chairs on the other side of the table first. Not wanting to let her Brother languish in his incorrect and uninformed opinions, the Sister kindly informed the Brother of her superior method. He resented this evidence of the Sister’s doubt in his Intelligence, and would not be dissuaded. This persistence in folly troubled the Sister, and she was compelled to use physical force against her Brother in order to place the next chair correctly.

At this point in the proceedings the Mother of the two children beat a prudent retreat up the stairs, and called out reinforcements in the form of “Daddy.” As any good husband would, Daddy made his way downstairs and found his two eldest in a physical discussion on the all-important matter of the Proper Procedure for kitchen chair placement. Reluctant to have any dialogue over such an inflammatory subject take place in an area where breakables were stored, the Father removed the discussion to a more appropriate setting – the back deck.

Although he appeared to recognize their dispute as an important contribution to the world-wide debate on after-dinner cleaning, the children suspected the beginnings of an amused gleam in his eye. They felt insulted and betrayed. Left alone on the back deck, they glared at each other, until suddenly they realized they could detect the same amused glint in their sibling’s eye.

That did it. The children couldn’t help themselves. They fell to the ground, giggling madly.

When Mommy returned, the kitchen was clean and her two eldest seemed to be on remarkably better terms than when she left them.

Both children now recognize the triviality of their debate, and Kitchen Arguments have all but vanished from their household. Nevertheless, to this day the Brother maintains he was correct in the matter under dispute, while the Sister has wisely concluded that the cost of imparting wisdom to the willfully unlearned is sometimes simply too high.