My family - the Warbling Wonders?

As far back as i can remember, my dad has sung, and my mom has not. Mom says when i was a baby, i generally preferred Dad over her because of this. I'd be all whiny and fussy (although, naturally, less verbal about it than i am now), and Mom would do anything and everything to quiet me. But all Dad had to do was sing to me, and i would soon calm down. My favourites tended to be the songs he composed to my stuffed animals – “Whitey the Seal” to the tune of “Winnie the Pooh,” for instance. When my brothers and i grew a little older, Dad recorded himself singing on cassette tapes for us to listen to at night. And of course, he taught us all the classics, such as “Great Big Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts,” “Mrs. Murphy’s Chowder,” and “What a Friend We Have in Cheeses.” Much to his dismay, we taught ourselves “This is the Song That Never Ends” and “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” In church, my eldest brother especially would sing proudly, and loudly. I was incredibly embarrassed by this, especially when people would come up to him after the service and thank him for his enthusiastic singing. At that time i was too busy to step on his toes, as Dad needed curbing of his own - he insisted on showing off his command of accents. “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” was German, “Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow” was British, “Amazing Grace” was French… Needless to say, i had no effect other than to exacerbate the problem, but i think the elderly ladies who always sat behind us enjoyed the show. We all have an embarrassing tendency to sing in public, especially around Christmastime. It’s just that the season is simply too short to sing all of the good songs if we don’t, and we also often feel the need to purge ourselves of the updated translations. I mean “God Rest You Merry Christian Folk” has nothing on “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and “set your minds on things eternal” simply does not evoke the same imagery as “ponder nothing earthly minded.” Fortunately for the public, my father and my brothers can carry a tune fairly well, so as long as i stay fairly quiet, nobody feels the need to relieve themselves of rotten produce (an Alto singing with three Basses doesn’t generally stand out very much, anyway). In fact, we often get quite a few nods and smiles, and some people look like they’d like to join in, but so far no one has. Probably because they don’t wish to embarrass us with their superior singing ability. We also have to be careful regarding whom we watch our favourite musicals with. It is practically impossible to be silent while watching Congress sing a rousing song about opening windows (1776), or Maria teaching the children how to sing (The Sound of Music), or Yenta matchmaking (The Fiddler on the Roof). You try it sometime. But you musn't think we wait for Christmas or musicals to inflict ourselves on the public; we’ve also been known to break out in hospital waiting rooms, or while walking the dog, or waiting for the 4th of July fireworks to start, or in the middle of dinner, or at the grocery store, or while waiting in line at the veterinary clinic… For some reason, people are much less forgiving when they’re not filled with Christmas spirit. Instead of nods, we get odd looks, and people subtly moving away, and acquaintances crossing the street – especially when we try to harmonize. However, in most cases we’d rather sing than talk to them, anyway. It is a simple fact that some days, it is absolutely imperative to inquire of the world if they are going to Scarborough Fair, and exclaim about the glories of goober peas, and inform Aunt Rhodie that her old grey goose is dead. Yes, i know - my poor mother…